Radio Updates

 
Yesterday a group of the Former Company’s layoffees met for a send-off to my former director, the one who scored the job with the competition. It was awesome seeing everyone, as usual, and I think we all needed a dose of both something to celebrate and a “touching-base” on how we’re all doing. We keep in touch via email, but it isn’t the same thing as actually meeting face-to-face with the faces one was so used to seeing on a daily basis. In attendance were two of the women who were laid off on their maternity leaves, babies in tow. It was inspiring to note that life does go on!


The opportunity provided us with a chance to hear directly some of the goings-on between the Former Company and the competition in the States who my former Director is going to. Apparently a number of the salespeople of the Former Company approached the competition at a recent tradeshow complaining that their expenses and commissions were not being paid, and expressed a desire to come work for the competition. This was followed up by an angry email from the Sales Director of the Former Company to his counterpart at the competition, warning the latter not to touch the sales guys of the former. Is this confusing you yet? The bottom line is, there is a renewed battle brewing between the competitors, that is quite clearly related to the Former Company’s present financial difficulties. It looks as though the competitors have seized the opportunity to prey upon the Former Company’s present weakness, and so far said competitors appear to be winning the battle.


More chatter too, amongst all yesterday, as to the “validity” of the responses that I received to my email to the Former Company’s executive. The layoffees are clearly feeling so betrayed to date, that there is little hope of them “buying into” what they perceive to be more rhetoric and stall tactics by the Former Company. I am inclined to believe what I read in the responses. You see, my trusting nature is the first to react always, with the “I’ll buy it and give them the benefit of the doubt”. But then I battle my own inner demons of scepticism, the demons that have raised their ugly heads so many times before. There’s the part of me that scolds the trusting side, reminding me that I have been burned in the past when my “trust instincts” have ruled. I can’t help but want to see the good in any situation. It’s part of who I am. I don’t want to believe that people are “out to get me”, or anyone else for that matter. Call me naïve when it comes to the goings on of the corporate world. I am hanging in to give them the benefit of the doubt.


I have had such a tremendous response to these musings of mine. There have been innumerable messages of support from friends far and wide. People have written to tell me that I missed my calling, I should write for a living. Heh. I do write for a living, when I am earning a living. I hold the esteemed title of “Technical Communicator” in the kind of work I have been doing over the last number of years. The very nature of a communicator of any sort implies that one must be able to express oneself. Granted, there is a difference between “communicating” in the sense of knowledge sharing, and the kind of communication that bares one’s soul. In the technology industry, a technical communicator is someone who can take a seemingly complicated piece of information and word it in such a way that a given audience can better understand it. The skills inherent in being able to succeed at this kind of work include a proficiency in listening skills as well as the ability to organize one’s thoughts in order to ultimate present the information in a clear and concise manner. Of course, a gift of the gab helps.


When you stop and think about it though, if one has honed one’s listening skills, the ability to interpret and then communicate information, one is in possession of many of the same skills that a trained counselor possesses. Now, to be able successfully help others to work through problems that overwhelm them and still keep a sense of calm and inner peace within oneself is a huge load to bear. Although I have a counseling background, having taken many courses over the years in the field, I am not certain that it is something I could take responsibility for on an everyday basis. I have always been a good listener. I have always been able to be an objective sounding board and see both sides of a given situation from a rational point of view. And I have clearly proven, time and time again, that even in the heat of the moment in my own crises, I have been able to maintain a rational train of thought that prevents me from doing or saying anything that I may have come to regret later. But really, that only says that I can take responsibility for my own actions. I am not sure I could take on perceived responsibility for the problems of others. I say “perceived” responsibility, because when one seeks counseling, they do not always see that in the end, a trained counselor can only provide the tools for one to help oneself. Most people’s perception of the counseling field is that a counselor is there to solve one’s problems. A good counselor will clearly indicate the difference to a client. A good client will accept responsibility for his own conclusions. This is not, however, a perfect world.


As you can see, I am at a stage of evaluating where I am and where I want to go. While I am immensely enjoying this “enforced vacation” and getting so much tended to that I normally do not have the time for, I find myself in a constant state of reflection. The “free time” has provided a rare opportunity to get off the mad roller coaster of racing against someone else’s deadline clock, and take some time for contemplation. Is this the time to write the novel I always I dreamed I could write? Do I have the discipline and ability to see a project of that nature through its lifecycle? Do I have the necessary “credentials” to have my work be respected? All questions I am pondering as I retreat to the sanctuary of home and hearth to continue the cleaning and renovation blitz.


Oh, and the best news of all? The hubby is taking some much needed time off next week to stay at home with me so we can work together on our master bedroom project, as well as finish up the kitchen and main floor bathroom projects. It will be nice to have time alone together to put continued “sweat equity” into our home and make it all feel like a true reflection of us. Although we have differing tastes and styles of work, in the end each project we have tackled together has always turned out to be a success, and worth the effort and good-natured teasing along the way. I will have an entire peaceful week with the man I love and trust implicitly, to discuss my future and how it relates to our future.


Enjoy the long weekend everyone. I am off to roll up my sleeves and get dirty!

 
I wrote an email yesterday to the Former Company’s CEO, and copied the CFO on it. When the group of us was downsized last month, we were, as you know by now, unceremoniously “dumped”, or so that was the shared feeling among us. The Human Resources Manager handed us letters of termination, and she left the company a week later for “greener pastures”. We have had no official contact with anyone in the company, and have, to this point, been basing anger, frustration and a whole lot of other wasted emotions on rumour and innuendo where the Former Company’s finances are concerned. With a phone call yesterday from a former colleague, wanting to look into other avenues of shaming the Former Company into “paying up”, it occurred to me that nobody had tried to make direct contact with the Former Company’s Executive, the only ones who would have a “real” answer as to what was going on.


In an effort to give the Former Company the benefit of the doubt, I wrote the email. I received a reply from the CEO within a half hour and another from the CFO by the evening. In both responses, they explained their position and the fact that any rumour of funding by Venture Capitalists being in their bank account is unfounded. According to their claim, they are still in the negotiation stages, with only a letter of intent and a few subsidies that went to pay the last two payrolls. The CEO grieved that the agreement that is being negotiated would effectively cut him and his brother, the CTO, out of the company entirely. This is the company that they struggled through "7 years of hard work and financial hardship” to build. The CFO expressed that they had chosen not to communicate anything to anyone until they had a signed and sealed agreement in hand that would give them something concrete to communicate. And so I have from their answers a glimmer of hope that in the June 1st payroll, the former employees will receive what is owed to them. This doesn’t make anything “right”. There is no reason why we, as now former employees should have our money tied up in supporting a company we no longer work for.


I sent the responses back out to those who have been keeping in touch. I tried, in my email to the members of the executive, to maintain a professional yet firm tone. I didn’t slander or accuse, merely asked for SOME form of communication on what was “really” going on. My former colleague’s reactions were mixed, as were my own. There was cynicism, and there was bitterness, and there were questions as to the “authenticity” of the content of the responses. Were they telling us the truth, or feeding us a line to put us off? The CEO’s response was meant to elicit some sympathy for his position. There was very little, if any, of that. After all, there is nobody who seems worried about our position, and us, or the effect that the Downsize has had on so many of us. So no buying into the “pity party”.


I have been fixated, in recent years, on honesty, trust and due process. The events of the last few months have seriously challenged my senses on all of these levels. Although some of us had pretty much given up on ever seeing the pay that was owed to us, others were still holding out hope that we could somehow “force” the company into honouring their obligations. The common feeling was that they had no concern whatsoever for any of us. We were gone and forgotten. The increased frustration on the part of so many former colleagues in the last few weeks prompted me to take a more active role in trying to get answers to questions. Don’t get me wrong, the responses to my email have not “softened” my anger and frustration towards the Former Company’s management and their “goings on”. I continue to feel lucky to be out of a place of employment where there might have been some dirty hands. But I did feel that in the interest of “due process”, we had not taken the most basic of action, that being going to the source.


Now only time will tell the rest of the story. Stay tuned for developments.

 
In the “Awesome News of the Day” category, the winner is my former Director, the one who was laid off with the rest of us in the Downsize. He just signed a contract with a MAJOR competitor of the Former Company. He brings with him a huge amount of knowledge, skill and expertise in the security market space. The Former Company’s loss is going to be their downfall methinks, once he walks through the doors of the competitor company. But you know what? You get what you give. If you treat people fairly, they return that in kind. You can’t treat them unfairly, and still expect them to honour their end of the “fair” meter. What goes around comes around, as they say.


Mother’s Day was spent on Saturday evening with my ex-in-laws. It was especially poignant this year, not knowing how much longer my ex-mom-in-law is going to be with us. We waited on a phone call from her in the morning to let us know if she was up to having the grandchildren over. She began rounds of chemotherapy two weeks ago, determined not to “go down without a fight”. She was weak, but we promised that we were pulling the whole dinner thing together, she only needed to have smiling face on. And that she did. She looked remarkable given the battle she is fighting. And she was clearly glad to see all of us and have us be there to celebrate with her. Gifts abounded, but the best gift was the gift of her company. My ex-sis-in-law lost her composure only once, hugging her stepmother tight and shedding her tears. It’s important to feel and not shut down or deny the feelings. We all shed a few tears that evening, but again, the important thing was that we were all together, kids running wild, and adults enjoying each other’s company. Family is a gift. A family you don’t “technically” belong to anymore but who takes you in as one of their own is a blessing.


As for me… I am rather beginning to enjoy this time of “enforced vacation”. That’s not to say that I am not actively looking for work opportunities, but I am not nearly as worked up about it all since my Dad yelled at me a few weeks back to chill. Thanks Dad! Though I don’t think he used the word "chill" (and he didn’t really yell), he reminded me that I should relax, take a deep breath and take the time I need to get over this. I think I am finally in the right headspace to do just that. Yesterday I went to a dance competition put on by my daughter’s High School gym classes to watch her perform with her group. It was not often as a full-time working mom that I could get away to share in those kinds of activities. And the look on her face when she looked up into the stands and saw me sitting there was worth every moment of making the effort to be there. And the kitchen… well other than the coats of paint necessary on the wall, the tedious work of cupboards and corners is done and it looks great, if I do say so myself. As my adopted big brother and good friend in Toronto recently said:”excellent...nothing like painting Zen to while away the time”.

 
Another dreary Monday, with no sunshine and no job yet.


Rumours abound regarding the Former Company. Any more, and there will be more than enough fodder to write an intriguing novel. Where to begin?


Let’s start with the rumour of an anonymous email to the company rife with accusations of serious improprieties, and misuse of the company network. The Rumour Mill says that the email arrived in selected company inboxes as well as the inbox of the Venture Capitalists. The Rumour Mill says that the “powers-that-be” suspect former employees of sending the anonymous email, and are on a rampage. Subsequent rumours suggest that some former employees’ sent-from-home emails are being “hijacked”. This is not a difficult thing to do if one knows the ins and outs of hacking. This was, after all, a security “solutions” company, with “ethical” hackers (otherwise known as “white hats”) on staff. And then there are rumours of members of the Former Company strong-arming competitors at a recent trade show, with regard to the fact that some layoffees have sought job opportunities with said competitors.


If any of these rumours are true, there could be some serious ramifications. What does this mean for me? It helps me along in my “acceptance mode”, and my gratitude for being out of the Former Company. Again, I reiterate the sentiment I have expressed in the past, that I hate being where there are “dirty hands”.


Apparently, existing employees had a mass meeting the other day with the Venture Capitalists, to discuss the changes within the company. Evidently, the funding they were seeking has come through. That being the case, let’s go back a month to when the CEO promised that his hope was to secure funding and follow through his obligations to the people who had worked so hard to see the company to where it had gone. Let’s look ahead to the 15th of this month, when the next payroll is due to be paid out. Let’s talk about termination and vacation pay in lieu of notice that the Former Company could not afford to pay at the time of the downsize. Let’s look at the layoffees empty bank accounts that will remain empty on the 15th of the month. There has been no “order from on high” to pay out these monies owing. From our letter of termination: “In the event we receive additional financing, the company will pay you the remaining amount owed to you…in full satisfaction of our obligations under applicable law.” In the same letters of termination there is also a paragraph that speaks to the hope that we would “part on professional terms”, and the reminder of our (the layoffee's) “contractual obligations…not to use or disclose…” any proprietary and confidential information. It is my understanding that a contract works both ways. If one side has to honour it, so does the other side. Am I missing something?


It’s funny you know, that I had been the one to be known as “bitter” and perhaps even obsessive in not being able to “let go” after the Downsize. And here I find myself trying to comfort others now, a month down the road as their own bitterness peaks. I guess everyone’s processes work at a different pace. I seem to have successfully worked through the gamut of emotions that can follow an event like a Downsize and have arrived at that “acceptance” stage. I am even somewhat enjoying, or at least making the best of the opportunities that this unexpected unemployment has provided. I am ready to move on. This doesn’t mean that I don’t feel frustration and anger anymore. But I have come to realize that the stress that comes with those emotions is a pointless waste of energy when the situation is out of my control. I cannot change the way the Former Company does its business. I cannot order the Former Company to “pay up” as per their contractual obligations. But I can do what is within my control. There are supervisory boards in this province that hold companies accountable to their contractual obligations. My paperwork was added last week to the “file” of claims against the Former Company. The process of holding the Former Company accountable may take some bureaucratic time, but I followed the accepted process and did not go through any “back doors”. This means that I continue to retain my dignity and can hold my head as high as I ever did, which suggests that I come out a winner. Money or no money, my hands are clean.